What causes some people to create massive breakthroughs in their lives while others stay stuck for ever. In this episode we discuss how to create breakthrough and how you can make it happen in your own life.
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Transcript
Well, Hey everybody, Jonathan Doyle with you.
Speaker:Once again, welcome back to the daily podcast where if you are listening.
Speaker:On this great big planet that is seven tenths water.
Speaker:Why is that relevant?
Speaker:Well, it isn't, but my kids and I were down the coast last week,
Speaker:then I was explaining it to them.
Speaker:They didn't believe me.
Speaker:I said it's true.
Speaker:Seven tens of the planet's border.
Speaker:So welcome aboard wherever you are living.
Speaker:I love being in the ocean, heading down there tomorrow.
Speaker:Really looking forward to, it's just great to get that reconnection with nature.
Speaker:Hope you get some sense of that.
Speaker:Many of us are.
Speaker:We're stuck in the suburbs.
Speaker:We're stuck in the cities and there's positives to that, but, uh, always
Speaker:make time my friend to reconnect.
Speaker:With the beauty that is all around you.
Speaker:This morning, I was up at 3:00 AM and, uh, it's a very special time.
Speaker:I made a coffee in my downstairs office and wandered out the front
Speaker:and there, it was like the stars.
Speaker:I know, y'all think I'm crazy 3:00 AM, but those want to be,
Speaker:it's just beautiful time of day.
Speaker:It's silent.
Speaker:If you got young kids, you know that any time of day.
Speaker:Well, you can get out there and there's no one going to be around.
Speaker:It is sacred.
Speaker:So there, I was had a beautiful time there this morning.
Speaker:So just wanna encourage you will, that is not the purpose of this episode
Speaker:to talk about this particular issue.
Speaker:But nature and reconnection with the beauty that's all around us can be
Speaker:a very healing and powerful things.
Speaker:Uh, what am I going to say?
Speaker:Housekeeping, please make sure you've subscribed.
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Speaker:And go and check out all the links you can book me to for coaching.
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Speaker:There is free stuff there.
Speaker:You can get free copies of my book.
Speaker:It is all there.
Speaker:So go hit those links.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I want to talk about.
Speaker:A breakthrough.
Speaker:I spoke to someone about this about a week ago, and I want to step you through
Speaker:today, the concept of breakthrough and how we create breakthrough in our lives.
Speaker:There are many seasons and times where we all long for things to be different.
Speaker:Isn't that true?
Speaker:I mean, there's times when things are so awesome and we just got to enjoy it.
Speaker:There's just seasons when everything's working and everything
Speaker:you touch just turns out perfectly.
Speaker:So enjoy that season.
Speaker:Don't change anything, just stay there as long as you can.
Speaker:Sure enough, there will be challenges coming along.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But what do we do for everybody listening right now?
Speaker:That feels stuck.
Speaker:I get a lot of emails from people who feel genuinely stuck.
Speaker:I feel stuck sometimes.
Speaker:I'm like, how do I move forward?
Speaker:Why isn't this the way I want it to be?
Speaker:I think my friend is something about the human condition is not, we are,
Speaker:we are restless beings at times.
Speaker:We're always sort of desiring we're desiring beings.
Speaker:We want things to be difficult to change things and keep moving forward.
Speaker:So what are we doing with stuck?
Speaker:And what do we do?
Speaker:And what we really need in life is a significant breakthrough.
Speaker:So I want to give you a couple of steps to this.
Speaker:Maybe there's an area in your life at the moment where you
Speaker:really want some breakthrough.
Speaker:You really want something in your life to be different.
Speaker:Now I want to keep this personal in terms of directed towards you, because
Speaker:it's difficult to create breakthrough.
Speaker:Father's writing, no matter how much they need it, and
Speaker:you might be completely right?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:They definitely definitely need it.
Speaker:But I learned many years ago, it is impossible to set goals for others.
Speaker:If somebody comes to you like a younger kid and says, Hey,
Speaker:can you help me set a goal?
Speaker:That's different.
Speaker:But wanting for others is not a power that we have, we have to want for
Speaker:ourselves and desire for ourselves.
Speaker:And that's the focus today?
Speaker:What are you doing?
Speaker:You want to create a breakthrough?
Speaker:How do we create.
Speaker:A significant major shift in our lives.
Speaker:What are the things that are necessary?
Speaker:And I want to put the first one in place.
Speaker:And if you want to create breakthrough, the first thing you're
Speaker:going to need is to really deeply.
Speaker:Get in touch with the pain.
Speaker:Of either way you are or what it will cost you to stay where you are.
Speaker:C a while back.
Speaker:I kind of gave up drinking altogether right now.
Speaker:Uh, I used to joke when I was younger.
Speaker:I drank professionally.
Speaker:I drank for Australia.
Speaker:I was on the national team.
Speaker:I was talking to a guy this morning after a training ride and
Speaker:w you know, he loves a drink and I told him you not drink anymore.
Speaker:We're joking about it.
Speaker:And I said, Hey, but look just don't get me wrong.
Speaker:I think it's fantastic.
Speaker:I'm not one of those people that quit and was like trying to stop everybody else.
Speaker:I'm like, it's the greatest thing in the world.
Speaker:I said it was just, I enjoyed it too much.
Speaker:And it wasn't good for me and it wasn't good for a way we want them to be.
Speaker:So, how did I create.
Speaker:This breakthrough, how did I create it?
Speaker:Well, I think it was really about this.
Speaker:A sense of pain, this sense of I'm not happy with where I am.
Speaker:I'm not happy with what this means for me going forward.
Speaker:I'm not happy.
Speaker:Staying here.
Speaker:Now that's a relatively simple example, but it could be much worse.
Speaker:It could be someone who's trapped in a really awful relationship, or
Speaker:they've got a terrible work situation.
Speaker:That's just crushing them emotionally, psychologically.
Speaker:And when the first thing we have to do great breakthrough is really getting in
Speaker:touch with our pain, because if we don't.
Speaker:Then what's the emphasis to change, you know, I think, I
Speaker:think Freud was right on this.
Speaker:I've said this many times, Freud.
Speaker:Argued that, you know, there were two main motivators of human behavior, the pursuit
Speaker:of pleasure and the avoidance of pain.
Speaker:I think Freud got a lot wrong, but I think we can agree that
Speaker:this was kind of in the ballpark.
Speaker:That we tend to either act and move and change because we
Speaker:are moving towards something.
Speaker:We want something that we don't have.
Speaker:Or we want to avoid something that we don't want to come in and we don't
Speaker:want to have it come into our lives.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:The two great motivators.
Speaker:So we leverage this think of an area of your life at the moment
Speaker:where you would genuinely like a breakthrough and you've been trying
Speaker:to, but you haven't been getting one.
Speaker:That's the first key piece is you've really got to go.
Speaker:What's it going to be like, if I stay here, What's it going
Speaker:to be like, if nothing changes.
Speaker:What's it going to be like, if I'm like this in five years or 10 years,
Speaker:or it gets worse or it intensifies.
Speaker:You know, You know, I was lucky that I was able to quit drinking before
Speaker:it became any kind of problem.
Speaker:And I'm being really honest with you guys today.
Speaker:But obviously so many people and I've had people close to
Speaker:me, struggle massively with it.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And it just destroys their life.
Speaker:And you get people that despite all the chaos and carnage
Speaker:of causes still can't stop.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:But when you see people that like go to AA and stuff and really get off it.
Speaker:You know, they, they hit rock bottom, right?
Speaker:I mean, usually for many people, it's the experience of rock bottom.
Speaker:Of so much pain of so much loss.
Speaker:That is that's the catalyst that swings them into the new behavior.
Speaker:So breakthrough is about that recognition, but it's also about sort of this moment.
Speaker:I love this.
Speaker:I was saying to my daughter the other day, this is a really good insight to.
Speaker:We often think that a breakthrough in our lives takes an enormous amount of time,
Speaker:but I said to her, You know, how long does a breakthrough take when it happens?
Speaker:And she's like, I don't know.
Speaker:I said, well, when a breakthrough actually happens, like if
Speaker:someone quit smoking or someone.
Speaker:Takes up.
Speaker:You know, they've avoided exercise for 20 years and they
Speaker:suddenly start going to the gym.
Speaker:You know, how long does it take for that change to happen?
Speaker:And people go oh, 20 years ago.
Speaker:No, that's not right.
Speaker:I said, when the change happens, it happens instantly.
Speaker:Now it may take 20 years to get to that change, but when
Speaker:change happens, it is a literal.
Speaker:It happens in seconds.
Speaker:And it happens because we change identity.
Speaker:We change our identity.
Speaker:We go from a certain state of being to being in a different, completely
Speaker:different state of being, and it can happen incredibly quickly.
Speaker:Once we leverage that sense of unhappiness.
Speaker:The sense of this is not okay.
Speaker:I am not staying here.
Speaker:I am not going to put up with this any longer.
Speaker:I'm going to find a way, I don't know what's causing this.
Speaker:I don't know why I got here, but no more.
Speaker:And again, come back to the alcoholics example.
Speaker:That's how it works, right?
Speaker:Like when someone quits at rock bottom, they're just like, that is it.
Speaker:I am done.
Speaker:And that change happens instantly.
Speaker:So why can't we apply that across any significant area
Speaker:of life that matters to you?
Speaker:It could be diet could be work, could be family relationships could
Speaker:be any number of possibilities.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:But we get to this moment where we're just like, we are done.
Speaker:And a great question related to this is why is it that when some
Speaker:people make a real breakthrough, what stops them going back?
Speaker:And I was journaling about this.
Speaker:I'm like, what stops me going back?
Speaker:The number of friends I've had recently got, oh man, I can't wait
Speaker:till you start drinking again.
Speaker:Like.
Speaker:You know, we have barbecues and lunches and dinners and everyone's drinking.
Speaker:I mean, when are you going to start again?
Speaker:I'm like, Hey.
Speaker:You're not helping.
Speaker:Go to the bad friend corner.
Speaker:You're not helping.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:And the reason I'm not going back and I was journaling about it is
Speaker:because it's a shift in identity.
Speaker:Because I look at the person that I was.
Speaker:And I want to be that person anymore.
Speaker:And it's like, you know, the awareness that if you decide to have.
Speaker:That first drink again.
Speaker:And again, like I'm talking about this particular topic, but you could apply
Speaker:to any number of addictions or problems or areas that we want to change in.
Speaker:You start again, you're back to that identity.
Speaker:So, can you see, can I bring all this together for you?
Speaker:What we're talking about here is.
Speaker:We all want breakthrough.
Speaker:So why don't most people get it because they don't get in touch with the pain
Speaker:of where they are and really think about it and write about it and internalize
Speaker:and come to come to terms with it.
Speaker:They don't make that identity shift.
Speaker:And if they fall back it's because they're going back to that identity.
Speaker:So friends, if you want something significant to change in your
Speaker:life, those are the pieces.
Speaker:Those are the pieces.
Speaker:Very powerful stuff.
Speaker:The no more.
Speaker:And look at, look at what it can change.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:Think of say example, example, Rosa parks is often considered to be the person that
Speaker:kicked off the American civil rights.
Speaker:A movement.
Speaker:And the 1950s and sixties.
Speaker:Like, you know, she's famous for refusing to give up her seat on a
Speaker:bus and she's just like no more.
Speaker:I am done.
Speaker:Do you think she had an identity shift at that moment?
Speaker:Like, what was the breakthrough leverage point?
Speaker:It was pain.
Speaker:Wasn't it?
Speaker:It was like, I am sick.
Speaker:I mean, I'm not no Rosa parks and I'm not her, but I'd imagine something
Speaker:like, you know what I'm done.
Speaker:I've had enough, I'm not doing this anymore.
Speaker:I don't care what it costs me.
Speaker:I don't care how much trouble I get in.
Speaker:I am not giving up this seat.
Speaker:Why because giving up that seat was associated with, for her to massive pain.
Speaker:If I give up this seat by sense of who I am, my sense of, you
Speaker:know, where I fit in the world.
Speaker:And what's important is just going to be painful for me.
Speaker:I'm not going to do it no matter what it costs.
Speaker:Her identity shifts in that moment.
Speaker:And that identity changes so much.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:You see how powerful this is?
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:That's it for me.
Speaker:I hope that's useful.
Speaker:Let me know what you think.
Speaker:Uh, Please make sure you've subscribed.
Speaker:Share this with some people.
Speaker:Go check out all the links for the good stuff.
Speaker:That's there.
Speaker:My name's Jonathan Doyle.
Speaker:I hope this is helpful for you.
Speaker:I want to see you grow.
Speaker:I want to see you create breakthrough.
Speaker:And I am going to have another message for you tomorrow.
