Wow….in this episode I cover pretty much everything. How can you develop yourself over the long haul of life? What is the difference between you and a tree? Why is it OK not to be normal? If you need some encouragement then this is the episode for you.
Transcript
Well, Hey everybody, Jonathan DOR with you.
Speaker:Once again, welcome back to the daily podcast.
Speaker:Really great to have the pleasure of your company.
Speaker:I was checking the stats yesterday and the numbers have been really growing.
Speaker:So for all of you out there sharing this in various places.
Speaker:Thank you so much.
Speaker:If you like what you're hearing, sending it on to family and friends or posting it
Speaker:on your various social media platforms.
Speaker:Is a real blessing.
Speaker:So thanks for doing that.
Speaker:It's great to see this reaching more people.
Speaker:So let's get down to it.
Speaker:The purpose of this podcast is to simply give all of us a little
Speaker:nudge each day, a little bit of.
Speaker:Inspiration education formation a little bit of something that just helps us
Speaker:think more positively about our lives.
Speaker:You know, as I've said so many times, you don't need a great
Speaker:big complex plan of change.
Speaker:To change your life.
Speaker:What you usually need is just one or two good ideas that
Speaker:you're actually going to use.
Speaker:It doesn't matter if we have access to the best information.
Speaker:What matters is what we actually do with the information we have.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:I was coaching somebody in the states recently, and there was sort of saying
Speaker:to them, look, you've got to remember.
Speaker:Here is the foundational principle feelings, follow actions,
Speaker:feelings, follow actions.
Speaker:A lot of times we want different things in our lives.
Speaker:We want change, but we don't feel like it creating the chain.
Speaker:So always remember regular listeners know this is one of my go-to mantra is that
Speaker:those feelings that you're after in life really come at the end of taking action.
Speaker:They don't usually precede them.
Speaker:You know, sometimes they do sometimes.
Speaker:You know, there'll be a, you'll feel positive about doing something
Speaker:and you're moving that direction.
Speaker:But so much of the time in life, creating something different, a better
Speaker:marriage, better parenting, better, better career, a better exam results,
Speaker:better sporting or fitness outcomes, whatever it is for any one of us
Speaker:often, there will be some pushback.
Speaker:There'll be some resistance.
Speaker:I remember being in Jackson, Mississippi.
Speaker:About 18 months ago and looking at from the hotel room, seeing.
Speaker:These huge trains that cross the continental United States.
Speaker:You know, these vast trains.
Speaker:We have them here in Australia too often, but we don't see them that often.
Speaker:Cause there.
Speaker:Usually out in the mining areas, but I remember seeing this one in Jackson.
Speaker:And being struck by the process of inertia, which is, you know, you've got
Speaker:this vast array of wagons and you've got these two big diesel engines on the
Speaker:front and you hear them powering up.
Speaker:And you see.
Speaker:But then for ages, there's no movement.
Speaker:Because it takes this enormous amount of energy to begin the process of movement.
Speaker:But once they move, once they get those wagons rolling, then you get momentum.
Speaker:And then the engines don't have to put out as much power.
Speaker:So it's similar for us when we're trying to create change that often.
Speaker:You know, it's these, uh, It's the early phase.
Speaker:It's that starting a new goals, starting a new thing in your life where
Speaker:the resistance can be pretty tough.
Speaker:So I want to give you that encouragement that if there's something in your
Speaker:life right now that you would like to be a little bit different, do
Speaker:not be surprised if it's difficult.
Speaker:You know, it's so easy, isn't it?
Speaker:So many people.
Speaker:Uh, you know, early in January they had gym memberships go through the roof.
Speaker:I was down in the gym this morning.
Speaker:Uh, it's almost snowing outside.
Speaker:And, uh, you know, you didn't have to fight for equipment this morning,
Speaker:you know, during midweek sort of early in the morning, mid morning
Speaker:now here it's, uh, it's not as busy, so there's this big influx when
Speaker:everybody wants to create change, but then it's this longer road, right?
Speaker:It's what we're doing every single day.
Speaker:That matters.
Speaker:It's not, we'll be doing this once.
Speaker:You know, we occasionally it's matters what happens every day.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:That was a long introduction.
Speaker:I just want to encourage you.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:There's I'm trying to do, I'm just trying to say that.
Speaker:When you're ready to do something different, just press
Speaker:pay yourself per space itself.
Speaker:Prepare yourself for difficulty, and then you'll get some momentum
Speaker:once you've stuck at it now.
Speaker:Today, I'm quoting from a American psychotherapist, uh, born in
Speaker:1885 by the name of Karen Horney.
Speaker:And I love a couple of quotes.
Speaker:I want to share with you the first one.
Speaker:Is great.
Speaker:It's very simple.
Speaker:She says a normal human being.
Speaker:Does not exist.
Speaker:So this is somebody who was a, you know, I had thought very deeply about
Speaker:psychoanalysis had done a huge amount of counseling and psychotherapy with people.
Speaker:And the good news she has first today is if you've ever felt that,
Speaker:um, some of the stuff that goes through your head is just, if people
Speaker:knew about it, It wouldn't be good.
Speaker:Well, relax.
Speaker:We're all pretty much somewhere on a large spectrum.
Speaker:Um, a normal human being does not exist.
Speaker:So if you ever feel that you need to be different.
Speaker:Have you ever feel that if you are only like X fill in the blank, if I
Speaker:had their looks, their hair, their money, their friendships, their
Speaker:marriage, whatever, then I'd be happy.
Speaker:Now everybody's got stuff, friends, everybody's carrying something.
Speaker:So cut yourself some slack today, wherever you are in the journey.
Speaker:Because according to psychotherapist, Karen, Horney a normal human being.
Speaker:It does not exist.
Speaker:I mean, how would you even define it?
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:I mean, think of the complexity of the human brain.
Speaker:And, uh, all our life experiences, the hundreds of millions,
Speaker:billions of permutations and things that have shaped us.
Speaker:How could we point to one person and say, you know what, that's normal.
Speaker:You ain't like that.
Speaker:And you got a problem.
Speaker:So be encouraged today, wherever you are in your journey.
Speaker:That we're all traveling some way.
Speaker:Now, the other thing I wanted to share with you from her as a
Speaker:really cool quote here, she says this, there is no good reason.
Speaker:Why we should not develop and change until the last day we live.
Speaker:So listen to that again.
Speaker:There is no good reason why we should not develop and change
Speaker:until the last day we live.
Speaker:So she's helping us understand that there, the moment in life that we
Speaker:are truly stationary the moment in life, when you find yourself.
Speaker:Really going nowhere for an extended period of time.
Speaker:We have a big problem.
Speaker:Now what I mean, there's times in life where you don't have calm
Speaker:and some peace and things are kind of just ticking along nicely.
Speaker:I'm talking about what happens when we really stop trying to grow.
Speaker:And she's telling us here that there is no reason.
Speaker:There's no psychoanalytical reason.
Speaker:Why we should ever stop growing and changing.
Speaker:People used to talk about.
Speaker:You know, we're not so much human beings as human becomings.
Speaker:I used to teach this on stage because my second master's program was in something
Speaker:called philosophical anthropology.
Speaker:And philosophical anthropology is kind of the deep philosophical
Speaker:study of what it means to be human.
Speaker:And I used to teach on stage that if you look at animals, right, if you
Speaker:look at the natural world, I used to say to people, what can a dog do?
Speaker:To be more dog-like.
Speaker:You know, you've got a dog and what could that dog do to be more dog-like and
Speaker:sometimes people have their hands and say, well, well, maybe you could bark more.
Speaker:And I would say, well, you know what all that would do would make it.
Speaker:We just make it a more annoying dog.
Speaker:It wouldn't make it any more.
Speaker:Dog-like it'd just be a dog to bark more.
Speaker:You see, in philosophy, these things are called accidents of nature.
Speaker:Um, You know, It was called accidents of our identity.
Speaker:And by accident, it doesn't mean like, uh, you know, your trip over at an accident
Speaker:means it's something, that's an aspect of something, but it's not crucial to it.
Speaker:You know, so, you know, whether a dog, you know, imagine the dog had an illness
Speaker:and it had, it's never barked again.
Speaker:Would it still be a dog?
Speaker:And everyone's got, I know you're all listening, going, Jonathan.
Speaker:Have you been like hanging out with Yoda?
Speaker:Like this is getting really weird.
Speaker:Stay with me, right.
Speaker:If they don't come back, it's still a dog.
Speaker:It's just a dog.
Speaker:That's what it is.
Speaker:And someone could say, well, what if it was bigger?
Speaker:And a German shepherd is a Regal dog and I'm going well, we could have arguments.
Speaker:That's that's the aesthetics.
Speaker:Isn't it.
Speaker:That's like.
Speaker:Our, our opinions about the ideal dog.
Speaker:So, but a dog can't be any more dog.
Speaker:Like it's just a dog.
Speaker:It's what it does.
Speaker:Cat can't be any more cat, like a lemming.
Speaker:I, uh, I don't know, a salamander.
Speaker:I'm just picking things out of the air here and the tree can't be any more.
Speaker:Tree-like be different kinds of trees and you might see a huge Oak tree.
Speaker:And so that's magnificent.
Speaker:You see a little, little tree and say, well, it's just still a tree, right?
Speaker:It's still doing its thing.
Speaker:And here's the point.
Speaker:Everything in the created world.
Speaker:Is what it is.
Speaker:It does what it does.
Speaker:It has a kind of, uh, what we call a teleology.
Speaker:Its purpose is to be what it is.
Speaker:It's just to be what it is.
Speaker:So a dog's job is to be a dog tree's job is to be a tree.
Speaker:So what's a human's job.
Speaker:And this is where it gets really interesting because humans are
Speaker:the only thing that we know of that can become more human.
Speaker:Bob.
Speaker:And the question is, what does that mean?
Speaker:Well, I'm going to argue.
Speaker:Oh, really?
Speaker:I do.
Speaker:I didn't plan to do this today, but I think it's, it's good stuff.
Speaker:Um, you know, the ancient Greeks used to believe in this thing called a Damon.
Speaker:Not a demon Damon and a Damon was kind of like the way I explain it to people.
Speaker:It's like software it's like the Greeks believed that stamped into
Speaker:our inner being was our Damon, which was kind of like our source code.
Speaker:And in that source code was everything that we could
Speaker:possibly become in this life.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:All the capacity, the energy.
Speaker:All the good we could do the talents.
Speaker:We could develop the music.
Speaker:We could play.
Speaker:The friendships we get to have all of this inner potential was stamped there.
Speaker:Into our inner essence, our Damon.
Speaker:And the Greeks believed that the job of in life was to become
Speaker:what they called a Uday Mon.
Speaker:And a UDA Mon was a person, man or woman.
Speaker:Who had fully developed their Dame on and basically had become all
Speaker:that they could become in life.
Speaker:And so, you know, we, we, we point to people in life you're pointing
Speaker:and Nelson Mandela's and your Dalai Lamas, and your point to famous
Speaker:historical figures, you know, your George Washington's, Abraham Lincoln's.
Speaker:You know, you could pick any number of amazing women, men and
Speaker:women look up . She died at 23, 22, 23, and she fully was living.
Speaker:Let me tell you that.
Speaker:So the point is that we all have this inner capacity, this, all
Speaker:this, this potential in life.
Speaker:And I think what Karen Horney is reminding us of here.
Speaker:Is that there's no excuse to stop growing.
Speaker:There's just none.
Speaker:That it's almost like the universe, God gives us this responsibility.
Speaker:You know anything God expects us to do too much.
Speaker:I don't think God's sitting there going, you know what?
Speaker:Gosh, if this humanity doesn't fix this problem, what are we going to do?
Speaker:The universe is going to explode.
Speaker:Yeah, basically, God's got, I think.
Speaker:I think God's got stuff covered.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:I don't think he gets worried about much.
Speaker:So the point is that, what does God want of us?
Speaker:And if you're not a person of faith, Well, ask yourself the ubiquitous.
Speaker:Supplementary question.
Speaker:What is the universe?
Speaker:One of us.
Speaker:I think what it wants is for us to become fully who we are.
Speaker:And that doesn't mean narcissism and that doesn't mean getting stuff.
Speaker:It means.
Speaker:Loving fully living fully experiencing fully.
Speaker:After I get out of the studio, I'm a.
Speaker:Just about to sign up for my next major endurance event, which
Speaker:is a 255 kilometer day race.
Speaker:On the bike rides.
Speaker:There's 255 K and I think there's about four and a half kilometers
Speaker:of vertical climbing in that.
Speaker:And I've been, I've been just, you know, I did 185 the other day and I'm
Speaker:like, well, I don't do two 55 and this little voice, you know, this voice cause
Speaker:you have this voice to the voice goes.
Speaker:Well, Jonathan, while you want to do that.
Speaker:You know, you'll be tired and blah, blah, blah.
Speaker:Why, why are you still doing this?
Speaker:And I'm going, Hey, little voice, shush.
Speaker:When, when I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
Speaker:So, you know, there's this desire in me to keep doing epic stuff.
Speaker:So that when I am old, I say, damn, I remember doing that 255 K race.
Speaker:And that was awesome.
Speaker:And my kids see it and they go, dad, that's hectic.
Speaker:And my kids grew up seeing that stuff.
Speaker:I don't expect them to do it, but I want them to see
Speaker:somebody who was trying to live.
Speaker:So friends, if you're stuck right now, Uh, if you feel on the, of you dealing with
Speaker:depression or crisis or pain, whatever it is, just hang in there because.
Speaker:We're on a journey.
Speaker:We're all on this journey together of growing and contributing
Speaker:and developing ourselves.
Speaker:So last thing is to, you know, is to keep an eye out for those
Speaker:things that retard this journey.
Speaker:And by that, I mean, Your phone mostly for most people.
Speaker:Um, but I'm joking, but basically distraction, like, you know, food TV.
Speaker:Uh, cynicism.
Speaker:A lot of people these days, they get hung up in being, you know, a
Speaker:bit despairing and cynical about the world and they withdraw into that.
Speaker:And there's all these different ways that we can retreat from life.
Speaker:So, what we need to do is look into our lives and look at those things that stop
Speaker:us from living and contributing fully.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:We have covered some ground friends.
Speaker:Haven't we we've done dogs, trees, cat, salamanders.
Speaker:Karen.
Speaker:Horney his perspective on a normal humanity.
Speaker:We've done.
Speaker:Eudaimonia we've done philosophical anthropology and
Speaker:you're getting this for free.
Speaker:They'll gratitude people.
Speaker:Um, and if you'd like to support me, please come across to patrion.com
Speaker:and, uh, if you could make a contribution there, that'd be awesome.
Speaker:This is blessing to you.
Speaker:Please do that.
Speaker:Uh, friends, that's it today.
Speaker:Get out there, grow, contribute, um, develop yourself.
Speaker:Find something cool to do start something that you've been avoiding.
Speaker:Uh, make that phone call, fix that friendship.
Speaker:Do something grow, live change before the clock stops.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Please hit subscribe.
Speaker:Make sure you've subscribed to the podcast wherever you're hearing it.
Speaker:Everything else you need to know about me, you can find on the
Speaker:website, Jonathan doyle.co dot C O.
Speaker:Uh, patrion.com.
Speaker:Do a search.
Speaker:Jonathan Doyle hit subscribe, share this with some friends.
Speaker:God bless you, everybody.
Speaker:Uh, I really feel.
Speaker:You know, as I'm in the studio here, I just feel that someone's listening.
Speaker:And her mom is bad apart from her and I you're out there.
Speaker:And I hope this has been a blessing to you.
Speaker:So, you know, hanging in there.
Speaker:The world is a wide and good place and better days are ahead all right my name
Speaker:is jonathan doyle this has been the daily podcast god bless you everybody And i'll
