How can you know when to persist at something and when it’s time to let go and move on? In today’s episode I share a great insight from author Tobias Wolf that will help you realise why persistence matters and how to know when to press on.

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Transcript
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Well, Hey everybody, Jonathan Doyle with you.

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Once again, welcome friends to the daily podcast.

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Great to be with you this morning.

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I'm really enjoying doing these.

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I've got to tell you the truth every day is different.

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Some days I'm like on top of the world.

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I've got my training done.

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I've had everything organized and I'm just rocking to the studio,

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ready to rip it apart some days.

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You know, it's a, it's harder.

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You've got to find the inspiration, the content.

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And I share that with you because it's kind of in relationship to

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today's measures, which we're going to unpack in just a moment.

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We've got to show up.

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We got to show up when we feel good.

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We got to show off when we don't feel good, we've got to bring

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our best as often as possible to the things that really matter.

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That was a really, uh, didn't episode, maybe three episodes ago.

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When we talked about pat Riley, the coach of the LA Lakers, who said,

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you know, the thing about commitment is you're either in or you're out.

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And commitment is really what you do when you don't feel like doing it.

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So we're going to riff on that a little bit today before we do,

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please make sure you've subscribed.

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Hit that big subscribe button.

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And I want you to check out this show notes here on the podcast

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version, you're going to find access to a whole bunch of links.

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There'll be links, uh, free access to my book, bridging the gap.

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You can book me to speak.

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There's a whole bunch of other stuff.

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There.

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There's a link across to the YouTube channel where you can

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see me doing this same episode.

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Uh, well, not exactly the same episode, the same content in a

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video version where, um, you know, I just put that video out each day.

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So it's all there in the show notes, friends.

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Welcome a board.

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Let's do this.

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I want to start with a quote today from the author, Tobias Wolff like that.

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And then Tobias.

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Um, Tobias Wolf.

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There's a really cool quote that just jumped out at me.

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And I sort of wanted to share it with you.

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He says this, we are made.

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To persist.

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That's how we find out who we are.

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We are made to persist.

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That's how we find out who we are.

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Really important insight.

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And I would just really want to share this with you.

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I hope we can find ways to apply it to your life.

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If you listen to me regularly, you know, some of my.

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I guess my mantra is the things that occupy my thinking.

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Uh, over a longer period of time.

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I think that we're in an interesting cultural moment.

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The.

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I guess technology in some ways has made life in some ways, very comfortable.

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And very secure.

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Now I know we could all point to ways that life still has its challenges and

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all sorts of problems that we can face.

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But I like to say to people that if you have a flushing toilet, you're basically.

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So far ahead of every other human that ever lived that, uh, even if things

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are bad for you at the moment, if you have electricity and a flushing toilet,

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you're in a pretty good place though.

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That said my, my older brother at the moment is on a mission trip overseas.

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And, uh, he's been in a really remote area and I'm not even

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sure they had a flushing toilet.

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So I guess when he gets back, he's going to be able to talk

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to us all about gratitude.

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But friends, this is a culture we inhabit that is big on consumption.

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It's big on distraction.

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I think I say that almost every single episode.

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So there are multiple ways.

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To, uh, to check out there are multiple ways to not do difficult things.

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There's endless forms of distraction.

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So finding the ability to persist is probably a little harder

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than it's been culturally.

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If you think about it going back centuries.

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You know, if you were subsistence agriculture I'd until what?

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Maybe the.

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Oh, gosh, you'd have to be hard to pick an exact time, but probably the early

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modern period, I guess you'd say that.

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Uh, agriculture became, you know, productive enough that there was surplus.

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So people could access food probably a little more easily, but

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until quite recently, subsistence farming was how most people lived.

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Right.

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And so you didn't get a choice of whether or not you wanted to do difficult things.

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You had to do difficult things, because if you didn't, you literally died.

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So I want to frame this by saying here we are in a culture.

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With many benefits, but some things have changed how we interact

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with reality, which is this quote today around persistence.

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So what Wolf is saying is that it's in the journey of persistence.

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It's in sticking at difficult things that we actually discover who we really are.

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There's a few ways in life.

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You can learn who you really are.

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Remember.

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Doing my second master's program in philosophical anthropology.

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There was really struck by this idea of, you know, one of the crucial ways we

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discover who we are as in relationships.

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Right.

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So, you know, interactions with other people, we slowly get a

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sense of who we are in the world.

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So there's a few key ways that we get a sense of identity.

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We get it through family, we get it through all sorts of

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encounters in life experiences.

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But what Wolf is saying here today,

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Is that one of the other crucial ways that we discover our

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sense of self, our identity.

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Is in this area of persistence, doing difficult things that shape who we become.

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I want to give you two quick examples.

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When I was back in high school, this examples in my book, bridging the

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gap, and you can grab a free copy here in the, in the show notes.

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I, uh, in the, my final couple of years of high school.

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We, uh, I went to a school that had a huge focus on.

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On sport.

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And I gave 250% to, you know, getting into the highest team that I could.

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And, you know, I trained really hard and I did everything and I

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just showed up and gave a 200%.

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And I didn't make it.

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And there was actually a tour squad selected that I didn't make.

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And I looked back all these years later and I write about it in a book.

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It was at the time devastating.

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It was quite something.

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And I wrote in the book that it took me years later that I realized that

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it was actually in that experience of trying and trying and trying.

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That the real magic was.

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I thought that what I'd experienced was a failure, but what I'd actually

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experienced was a kind of success.

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What was the success?

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I'd learned about persistence.

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I'd learned about hard work.

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I didn't get the actual result.

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But are you looking back now?

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I can see that I probably had it backwards.

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I thought that the ideal result was simply making the team, but the real result was

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the shaping of character and identity that came through the relentless persistence.

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So, I guess one of the questions is, so Jonathan, are you saying

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we persist at everything?

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No.

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Of taught for many years.

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The way, you know, when to stop is if you are experiencing, um, Um, significant

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negative outcomes either psychologically.

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Or in relationship to other people or in your health.

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So when do you stop you stop?

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When there are significant negative consequences to you or

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the people you love now, again, there's some nuance there, right?

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Because.

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I run ultra marathons and there's this, there's a lot of pain involved.

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There's a lot of hardship and suffering.

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So you could apply the logic.

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I just offered and said, well, don't have the money you're doing.

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You should stop when it hurts.

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I think there's a real wisdom here to live.

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Well, you have to know that there are some things worth persisting in,

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in some, some things that are not.

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And that's the other example I wanted to give was, you know, my, um, relationship

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with running, I am not a born runner.

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I'm like five foot eight.

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I'm built really solidly.

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Right?

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So I've got this kind of Irish peasant build.

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Uh, from a long line of Irish peasants.

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Um, I'm built really quite thick.

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And so running for me, like I've been listening to It's his book

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about running is a fantastic guy and a really interesting writer.

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And, you know, he runs amazing ultra marathons, but

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he's built like a Greyhound.

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It was built more like a.

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Like a, uh, like a Rottweiler, I guess.

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So I want to share with you that for me running.

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Has been just a long journey into solitude and pain over a long period of time.

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But.

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It's the persistence part.

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It's, it's taught me how to keep going when things are difficult, it teaches

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me to keep going when I want to stop.

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And there's this funny thing that happens.

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This battle it's waged between my physical body, my rational mind, and I guess

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my soul or spirit, that's kind of a.

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In re in dialogue with those two other parts of me.

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So I just want to say to you today, what is in your life at the moment that you

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are finding it hard to persist in because.

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I think that he's right to bias Wolf, that if you can find the grit,

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if you can find the commitment, if you can find the ability to keep

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going in the things that matter and what are the things that matter?

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Well, I think the things that matter are the things that shape our character

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and the things that bless other people.

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And the things that bring light and growth and beauty into the world.

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So you might be a doctor or a nurse or a teacher, or you might have

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some leadership role somewhere, you know, If things are difficult for

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you, ask yourself the question, are these difficult things worthwhile?

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Are they bringing more light and goodness into the world?

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Even if they're difficult, I spent many years erroneously believing.

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That if things were difficult or uncertain or confusing, then they must not be.

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The will of God, for me, they must be, you know, maybe I'm meant to walk away

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from it's taken me a lot of years to go.

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You know, there are some things that are just difficult.

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There are some things that are just hot and you got to keep going,

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keep persisting, keep pressing on.

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Raising good kids building a great career, writing a great book.

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You know, some things we just got to keep going, keep doing.

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So I just want to encourage you today.

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Whatever you're facing.

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Whatever you are going through.

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Stick with it, if it meets those criteria.

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All right.

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So there's our criteria.

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If it's causing physical, psychological harm to yourself or others, it's

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probably worth putting it aside.

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But if it's bringing light and growth and character and forward momentum into

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the world, and I think you're probably.

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Have a good think and pray about sticking with it.

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So one more time from Tobias Wolff, we are made to persist.

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That's how we find out who we are.

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You know, sometimes it's only in hindsight, isn't it?

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You.

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It's been how many years?

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I guess it's been 31 years.

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Since I was trying out for that high school team.

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But that message is still shaped me all this time later.

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You know, so sometimes the lessons come later and they, uh, as they

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shape our character, All right.

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My friends, that's it for today, persist, persist, persist at the right things.

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Press on.

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Let this be a moment of encouragement for those of you who are unsure

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about what you're doing and where you're heading, find those things

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and persist my friends persist.

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The cosmos is with you.

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God is with you.

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If you are bringing light and goodness and growth into the world, press on.

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All right.

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Make sure you've subscribed my friends.

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Go and check out all those show notes.

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Book me to speak.

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Find out about all that good stuff.

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It's all there.

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But for now god bless everybody my name's jonathan doyle this has

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been the daily podcast and you and i are going to talk again tomorrow

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