Healing From Depression

Well, Hey everybody.

Jonathan Doyle with you for the daily podcast.

Hope you're doing well, friends.

Great to be with you.

I hope you had a good weekend.

I had a pretty good weekend.

I think.

Yeah, it's the kids are at a good age.

It's a nice sort of age.

You know, many of you will either remember this, or it may be ahead

of you, but they've got to that age where you can do stuff with them.

You know, stuff.

We've been surfing.

We've been doing all sorts of cool stuff.

That's a nice season.

Nice age.

So, uh, Caught up with some friends yesterday.

Often I think that, uh, what was that great quote?

I don't know whether it was, might've been Henry David Thoreau

famously said that a person is rich.

With regard to the number of things they can afford to leave alone.

You know, sometimes I think we, uh, we go through life convinced.

That if only we had more X.

X can be substituted for whatever.

More fame or recognition more money, more time, then we would be happy.

But sometimes it's, um, the things that we don't pursue.

The things that we subtract from our life.

That, uh, lead us to those things that are richer and more enjoyable.

And on that today's quote is something.

I just think it's quite brilliant.

It's a, maybe a little controversial.

So strap yourself in.

I preface this by saying I am not providing.

Advice and or guidance on mental health issues, because this is a

comment or quote about depression.

It comes from Alfred Adler.

Now.

All of us in life will experience times of depression or low mood.

It's a janitor.

Generic.

Uh, part of the human experience and of course, Some of us.

Uh, the weather doesn't clear and the journey and the cross and the challenge of

depression can be with us for many years.

And as many of you know, it's been a part of my life at different times.

But, uh, I guess over the years I learned many, many, many, many

strategies and approaches that I've found incredibly helpful in this area.

But let me share this quote with you here from Alfred Adler,

the brilliant psychologist.

But here is this quote.

He says you can be healed of depression.

If every day, You begin the first thing in the morning to consider

how you will bring a real joy.

To someone else.

You can be healed of depression of every day.

You begin the first thing in the morning to consider how you will bring a real joy.

To someone else.

You know, many of, you know, I've been reading Jordan Peterson's latest book and.

He, he writes a quite brilliant chapter on suffering and how we deal with suffering.

And he makes this comment, you know, he said that if you, if you

haven't experienced in life of someone close to you dying, which

I've been through in many others,

I'm sure listening have.

He said, uh, he encourages people to be the go-to person to be the person

that holds everybody else together.

He says, you're not denying your pain.

You're not ignoring what you're going through, but he's like in these key

moments of life, one of the great things we can do as humans is rise

to the challenge and be present and available and care for those

who might be really falling apart.

It was quite a beautiful sentiment, I think.

And.

You can see here, this same thread flowing through this

Alfred Adler quote on depression.

That as a culture, we're very therapeutic.

We have many strategies for dealing with depression, but.

Interestingly, you don't hear this one as often as you might think them.

It reminds me of.

Having read, uh, Johann Hari's book lost connections.

It's an extraordinary book on his journey with depression.

And he talks about, you know, his whole journey with medication

and increasing dosages and all the stuff that he went through.

But then he found that, uh, in, towards the end of the book, that

it was reconnecting his social world really drilling down into.

Being with friends and being, you know, being focused on their

problems and struggles, which was incredibly healing for him.

And that's what Adam was telling us, you know, begin every day, thinking how

you can bring real joy to someone else.

So.

Uh, example on Saturday, you know, My daughters.

My youngest daughter was playing netball and this involved standing in pretty

much subzero conditions watching.

You know, nine-year-olds and 10 year olds play.

You know, volleyball, uh, sorry.

Uh, netball.

And, you know, I grew up as a rugby guy with brothers and went to old

boys schools and netball was not a big part of my developmental years.

So this was new for me.

But, um, you know, I went and got a bad coffee and stood there in

the freezing cold and watched her and got a lot of joy out of it.

And she just had a blast.

I mean, she was just so happy.

And then we went.

Did a bit of shopping together and we had this great time.

And then later in the day, my eldest daughter.

I was playing soccer and she's playing really well.

And, and, uh, I sat out there in the sun and I watched her for like two hours.

The game went for like, at least that long, maybe the whole thing.

The warmups and all that stuff.

But, you know, that afternoon, you know, we had dinner as a family

and watching a movie together and I just felt this real kind of joy.

I thought, you know, I've had a really good day.

And just like Adler's saying that happened because that the, the, the

focus of the day hadn't been on my problems, the focus of the day hadn't

been on worries of the future, the focus of the day had just been on.

Being present.

And trying to be a blessing to significant people in my life.

So I think this is what Adler's saying, that if we go about our

days, you know, thinking, you know, what, who can I bless today?

Who can I, so let's make this practical.

Yeah.

If you're listening to me right now, you have a friend somewhere.

Going through some sort of difficulty I can think of about

five friends at the moment, going through some of them going through

extremely difficult times some less.

So.

But the choice that I had to send a message of encouragement, send a text.

Reach out, you know, um, be a blessing to my own family.

I didn't get this perfect, but I, I understand the trajectory.

I understand the way out of.

You know, this kind of a self absorption and sadness that can

overtake our lives very easily.

So can that be your homework today?

Can I encourage you?

Two, if you're struggling with depression at the moment, if you're

struggling with, um, you know, we're all still going through COVID craziness

in different forms around the world.

If you're listening to me right now.

Who can you bless?

Who can you reach out to today?

Who can you bring joy to?

You know, who would just be stoked if they heard from you?

Or you can go buy someone flowers.

I'm going to bug Karen Flowers today.

You know, she's got a.

She's got things going on at the moment, challenges that she's facing,

I was going to buy some flowers.

And then amazing, you know, thousands of people are going to hear that before.

Any, any of you listening to this, but you know, in the next few hours,

You're not to tell her.

Okay, that'll be a surprise.

But, uh, just bring joy.

Bring joy to people.

If you do that and you do it on a regular basis and you make it a practice.

I mean, many of us are good at going to the gym.

Many of us are good at you.

Systems and doing the same things each day.

But let's get good at this one.

Let's get good at bringing joy to other people.

All right.

That's it for me?

My name's Jonathan Doyle, please hit subscribe.

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subscribe, come across to the website.

Jonathan doyle.co.

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Either way, uh, Reach out and you can find out about co getting coaching with me.

It's on the website there.

Um, do you want to say hi, or you got a problem or a challenge?

You'd like me to do an episode on, you can send me an email

jonathan@jonathandoyle.co, but that's it for now.

God bless you everybody my name is jonathan doyle this has been

the daily podcast and i'll have another message for you very soon