If you have never suffered from depression then there is a very good chance that you know someone who does. In our complex modern world it seems to be a huge challenge for so many. In today’s episode I want to share a simple insight from one of the giants of psychology who helps us consider a path out of the fog of depression.
Transcript
Well, Hey everybody.
Speaker:Jonathan Doyle with you for the daily podcast.
Speaker:Hope you're doing well, friends.
Speaker:Great to be with you.
Speaker:I hope you had a good weekend.
Speaker:I had a pretty good weekend.
Speaker:I think.
Speaker:Yeah, it's the kids are at a good age.
Speaker:It's a nice sort of age.
Speaker:You know, many of you will either remember this, or it may be ahead
Speaker:of you, but they've got to that age where you can do stuff with them.
Speaker:You know, stuff.
Speaker:We've been surfing.
Speaker:We've been doing all sorts of cool stuff.
Speaker:That's a nice season.
Speaker:Nice age.
Speaker:So, uh, Caught up with some friends yesterday.
Speaker:Often I think that, uh, what was that great quote?
Speaker:I don't know whether it was, might've been Henry David Thoreau
Speaker:famously said that a person is rich.
Speaker:With regard to the number of things they can afford to leave alone.
Speaker:You know, sometimes I think we, uh, we go through life convinced.
Speaker:That if only we had more X.
Speaker:X can be substituted for whatever.
Speaker:More fame or recognition more money, more time, then we would be happy.
Speaker:But sometimes it's, um, the things that we don't pursue.
Speaker:The things that we subtract from our life.
Speaker:That, uh, lead us to those things that are richer and more enjoyable.
Speaker:And on that today's quote is something.
Speaker:I just think it's quite brilliant.
Speaker:It's a, maybe a little controversial.
Speaker:So strap yourself in.
Speaker:I preface this by saying I am not providing.
Speaker:Advice and or guidance on mental health issues, because this is a
Speaker:comment or quote about depression.
Speaker:It comes from Alfred Adler.
Speaker:Now.
Speaker:All of us in life will experience times of depression or low mood.
Speaker:It's a janitor.
Speaker:Generic.
Speaker:Uh, part of the human experience and of course, Some of us.
Speaker:Uh, the weather doesn't clear and the journey and the cross and the challenge of
Speaker:depression can be with us for many years.
Speaker:And as many of you know, it's been a part of my life at different times.
Speaker:But, uh, I guess over the years I learned many, many, many, many
Speaker:strategies and approaches that I've found incredibly helpful in this area.
Speaker:But let me share this quote with you here from Alfred Adler,
Speaker:the brilliant psychologist.
Speaker:I really like Adler's work sort of learning more about it died back in 1937.
Speaker:But here is this quote.
Speaker:He says you can be healed of depression.
Speaker:If every day, You begin the first thing in the morning to consider
Speaker:how you will bring a real joy.
Speaker:To someone else.
Speaker:You can be healed of depression of every day.
Speaker:You begin the first thing in the morning to consider how you will bring a real joy.
Speaker:To someone else.
Speaker:You know, many of, you know, I've been reading Jordan Peterson's latest book and.
Speaker:He, he writes a quite brilliant chapter on suffering and how we deal with suffering.
Speaker:And he makes this comment, you know, he said that if you, if you
Speaker:haven't experienced in life of someone close to you dying, which
Speaker:I've been through in many others,
Speaker:I'm sure listening have.
Speaker:He said, uh, he encourages people to be the go-to person to be the person
Speaker:that holds everybody else together.
Speaker:He says, you're not denying your pain.
Speaker:You're not ignoring what you're going through, but he's like in these key
Speaker:moments of life, one of the great things we can do as humans is rise
Speaker:to the challenge and be present and available and care for those
Speaker:who might be really falling apart.
Speaker:It was quite a beautiful sentiment, I think.
Speaker:And.
Speaker:You can see here, this same thread flowing through this
Speaker:Alfred Adler quote on depression.
Speaker:That as a culture, we're very therapeutic.
Speaker:We have many strategies for dealing with depression, but.
Speaker:Interestingly, you don't hear this one as often as you might think them.
Speaker:It reminds me of.
Speaker:Having read, uh, Johann Hari's book lost connections.
Speaker:It's an extraordinary book on his journey with depression.
Speaker:And he talks about, you know, his whole journey with medication
Speaker:and increasing dosages and all the stuff that he went through.
Speaker:But then he found that, uh, in, towards the end of the book, that
Speaker:it was reconnecting his social world really drilling down into.
Speaker:Being with friends and being, you know, being focused on their
Speaker:problems and struggles, which was incredibly healing for him.
Speaker:And that's what Adam was telling us, you know, begin every day, thinking how
Speaker:you can bring real joy to someone else.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Uh, example on Saturday, you know, My daughters.
Speaker:My youngest daughter was playing netball and this involved standing in pretty
Speaker:much subzero conditions watching.
Speaker:You know, nine-year-olds and 10 year olds play.
Speaker:You know, volleyball, uh, sorry.
Speaker:Uh, netball.
Speaker:And, you know, I grew up as a rugby guy with brothers and went to old
Speaker:boys schools and netball was not a big part of my developmental years.
Speaker:So this was new for me.
Speaker:But, um, you know, I went and got a bad coffee and stood there in
Speaker:the freezing cold and watched her and got a lot of joy out of it.
Speaker:And she just had a blast.
Speaker:I mean, she was just so happy.
Speaker:And then we went.
Speaker:Did a bit of shopping together and we had this great time.
Speaker:And then later in the day, my eldest daughter.
Speaker:I was playing soccer and she's playing really well.
Speaker:And, and, uh, I sat out there in the sun and I watched her for like two hours.
Speaker:The game went for like, at least that long, maybe the whole thing.
Speaker:The warmups and all that stuff.
Speaker:But, you know, that afternoon, you know, we had dinner as a family
Speaker:and watching a movie together and I just felt this real kind of joy.
Speaker:I thought, you know, I've had a really good day.
Speaker:And just like Adler's saying that happened because that the, the, the
Speaker:focus of the day hadn't been on my problems, the focus of the day hadn't
Speaker:been on worries of the future, the focus of the day had just been on.
Speaker:Being present.
Speaker:And trying to be a blessing to significant people in my life.
Speaker:So I think this is what Adler's saying, that if we go about our
Speaker:days, you know, thinking, you know, what, who can I bless today?
Speaker:Who can I, so let's make this practical.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:If you're listening to me right now, you have a friend somewhere.
Speaker:Going through some sort of difficulty I can think of about
Speaker:five friends at the moment, going through some of them going through
Speaker:extremely difficult times some less.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:But the choice that I had to send a message of encouragement, send a text.
Speaker:Reach out, you know, um, be a blessing to my own family.
Speaker:I didn't get this perfect, but I, I understand the trajectory.
Speaker:I understand the way out of.
Speaker:You know, this kind of a self absorption and sadness that can
Speaker:overtake our lives very easily.
Speaker:So can that be your homework today?
Speaker:Can I encourage you?
Speaker:Two, if you're struggling with depression at the moment, if you're
Speaker:struggling with, um, you know, we're all still going through COVID craziness
Speaker:in different forms around the world.
Speaker:If you're listening to me right now.
Speaker:Who can you bless?
Speaker:Who can you reach out to today?
Speaker:Who can you bring joy to?
Speaker:You know, who would just be stoked if they heard from you?
Speaker:Or you can go buy someone flowers.
Speaker:I'm going to bug Karen Flowers today.
Speaker:You know, she's got a.
Speaker:She's got things going on at the moment, challenges that she's facing,
Speaker:I was going to buy some flowers.
Speaker:And then amazing, you know, thousands of people are going to hear that before.
Speaker:Any, any of you listening to this, but you know, in the next few hours,
Speaker:You're not to tell her.
Speaker:Okay, that'll be a surprise.
Speaker:But, uh, just bring joy.
Speaker:Bring joy to people.
Speaker:If you do that and you do it on a regular basis and you make it a practice.
Speaker:I mean, many of us are good at going to the gym.
Speaker:Many of us are good at you.
Speaker:Systems and doing the same things each day.
Speaker:But let's get good at this one.
Speaker:Let's get good at bringing joy to other people.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:That's it for me?
Speaker:My name's Jonathan Doyle, please hit subscribe.
Speaker:If you like what you're hearing a little bit of daily encouragement hit
Speaker:subscribe, come across to the website.
Speaker:Jonathan doyle.co.
Speaker:You can sign up there for the daily email.
Speaker:Either way, uh, Reach out and you can find out about co getting coaching with me.
Speaker:It's on the website there.
Speaker:Um, do you want to say hi, or you got a problem or a challenge?
Speaker:You'd like me to do an episode on, you can send me an email
Speaker:jonathan@jonathandoyle.co, but that's it for now.
Speaker:God bless you everybody my name is jonathan doyle this has been
Speaker:the daily podcast and i'll have another message for you very soon
