It Doesn’t Matter Enough to You (Yet) — The Uncomfortable Truth About Why You’re Stuck

Well, hey there, my friend.

Jonathan Doyle with you.

I'm so pleased you've joined me for another episode of the Daily podcast.

Have you noticed that when you begin to change things in your life, they

don't always necessarily change as quickly as you'd like them to?

Have you noticed that in your life you'll sometimes sabotage

and undermine your own progress?

Well, the good news is you've come to the right place, 'cause I've been

doing this for many years, and I wanna share with you some insights

about why this may be the case.

I had the pleasure during the week of coaching a young lady in a high-powered

sales position, and we're talking about this challenge that she kept

having, which she was saying, "I get up every day, the alarm goes off, and

I have all these things that I really wanna do, but I'm not doing them.

Why am I not doing them?

I know what I should do, but I'm not doing it." Here is the uncomfortable

truth, and maybe this is applicable to your life at some level too.

If you're not doing the things that you say that you need to be doing

to move yourself forward in some significant area of life, well, this

is the great uncomfortable truth.

It's simply because at this stage it doesn't matter enough to you.

Now, that's a hard truth because we think we're rational beings, right?

We're kinda like, "Well, I know what I want, and why would I

undermine myself?" If you really want something and it's genuinely

important to you, you will find a way.

Many years ago, I had a dear friend who was suffering from a very serious kidney

disease, and they required dialysis and I think from memory, I think it was twice

a day, definitely once a day, and they had to go into the clinic all the time

to have this done, and they were heroic.

This person just h- was an absolute saint and still managed to work and,

and, uh, contribute to people, and it was just an incredible witness.

But I remember them sorta saying to me that you don't get a choice with dialysis.

It's like, it's just, it's a non-negotiable.

It's if you don't go, then the consequences are dramatic and,

of course, very, very serious.

And that stuck with me for many years, and I often used to say to people that

you don't get a choice in that, right?

It's an absolute non-negotiable.

Now, I don't wanna make light of that situation, but if you want transformation

You have to some degree, at to some degree, get yourself into that position

where the change that you say you want, you, you have to make it important enough

to actually do the difficult things.

The weird thing about personal development growth is that the principles,

the meta principles are so simple.

They're so simple that anybody can understand them, but it raises the obvious

point that the vast majority of people don't do something magnificent with this

one precious life they've been given.

And I think it's because they're just not in touch with what's important for them,

and I don't want you to make that mistake.

And in this message today, I'm really committed to discussing with

you the question of how in touch are you with what you truly say is

most important to you, and are you living in congruence with that?

Sometimes you just need a reminder, sometimes you just need a message like

this one today to remind you, hey, look, you can say whatever you want.

Talk is kinda cheap, right?

It's easy to write a goal.

It's easy to write something down or to tell people you're gonna change

But what really matters is the action.

We can articulate to ourselves all sorts of stories, but what actually matters

is the action, and what will compel the action is a reason strong enough

to get you to change your behavior.

See, if you're hitting that snooze button day after day, it's because

you have attached a greater value to comfort and pleasure than you

have to the hard, difficult grind of doing what needs to be done.

Is that a hard truth?

Like, it may not be the snooze button, it may be diet, it may be financial,

it may be compulsive shopping, it may be doom scrolling and wasting time.

If you want a behavioral change, you've gotta get leverage on yourself.

Now, I remember one speaker years ago saying, asking the question, "What will

happen to you if this doesn't change?"

See, sometimes changing can seem so big and hard and difficult, people get lost.

They're like, "Well, I don't know what to do. Where do I start? And what…" A

better question sometimes is, what will happen to you if this never changes?

Is there an aspect of your life that is holding you back?

And, and what is that going to cost you in the future if it never changes?

A year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now, if your health is the

same way, if your career is the same way, if your core relationships are the same

way, are you going to be okay with that?

And maybe you are, and maybe this is the wrong podcast to listen to, because

there's something in many of us that listen to this content that wants

perpetual, continual growth, change, so we can contribute and live more fully.

But we have to get really clear about what honestly drives us.

And are the things that you say are important to you, are

they important enough for you to do the things that change?

And I have said this on pretty much every podcast for the last decade,

and my wife said this to me during the week 'cause she's making some

incredible changes in her life at the moment which are just awesome.

And she said to me, you know, "You've been saying this to me for years." I said,

"Which part?" She said, "The part that you'll never feel like it." Like, if I

just could give you that gift today, that if you're ever in the personal development

journey wondering why it's hard, well, the answer to that, it's because it's hard.

You see, if it wasn't hard, I know this sounds like a cliche,

but everybody would do it, right?

So when you look around you and you notice that most people, as the famous

metaphysical writer Henry David Thoreau said, "The great mass of people lead lives

of quiet desperation." Quiet desperation, this sort of, sort of suppressed sense

of, "Oh, this life is just too stressful.

It's not what I wanted.

I didn't think I'd end up here." But they just accept it, and

you don't have to do that.

And I think I heard something else during the week which was really interesting,

was that, you know, if, if you want to know what is most important to you or if

you want to know what you should want, ask yourself what you would genuinely be

prepared to sacrifice for What would you genuinely be prepared to sacrifice for?

Because there are certain things that you will sacrifice for.

Maybe your family, your children, your, your spouse, or a boyfriend or a

girlfriend, but there's, there's been times in your life when you have done

something difficult because there was something that was important to you

or someone that was important to you.

So the life that I live and the training and, you know, the, the work and, is

because I, I've accepted that to live an uncommon life and to serve more people and

to grow, it's just this is the sacrifice.

Like, you know, this is the way that I live, is to constantly do difficult

things in the pursuit of opportunities to serve more people and to mirror and

to be, have integrity in what I teach, that I've actually lived it myself.

And so I sacrifice for that, and I do it every single day without

fail, like, just constantly.

If you followed me around for a day, you'd see that, and I want that for you, okay?

So let me sum this up for you.

Let's keep it really clear.

If there is some area of your life, it could be your health and fitness, your…

It's usually in the big three, right?

Which is health and fitness, finance and career, or relationships.

You know, all of us as humans usually want to improve one of those.

Even world-level athletes with the most amazing physiques are always

trying to improve, and even, you know, business people who make a

lot of money don't tend to stop.

They're always like, "How can I grow this? How can I do more?" And when

you have great relationships, have you ever said to yourself, "Well,

I wanna back this off a bit. I want this relationship to be worse"?

No, we're, we're designed for abundance and for growth and connection.

So in one of those three areas of your life, if you're not where you

want to be, then you kinda gotta sit with yourself for a while and have

a really honest conversation with yourself and say, "Maybe, maybe I don't.

Maybe this isn't that important to me.

Maybe I'm living someone else's dream.

Maybe this thing, my life's changed a bit.

Maybe this doesn't matter." But what does matter to you?

What would you sacrifice for?

What would be strong enough for you that you would never

hit that snooze button again?

Not saying there aren't times when we should rest, it's not what I mean.

But what would be powerful enough to keep you going when it's difficult?

And until you can answer that question, you're going to keep getting the same

results, and I don't want that for you.

Okay.

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But God bless you, my friend.

This is The Daily Podcast.

My name's Jonathan Doyle.

You and I are gonna talk again tomorrow