Your Change Gives Others Permission — The Théoden Effect

Well, hello there, my friend.

Jonathan Doyle with you once again.

Welcome to the Daily Podcast.

I'm pleased you're with me.

I would like to offer you something really, some really good news.

And if you are on the journey of personal growth and development, if there is some

area of your life that you are really trying to change, and you begin to make

those changes, I am here today to remind you that the great news is that it's

not just your life that you're going to be shifting, changing, and affecting.

I have some really good news from very strong personal experience and

observing people over many, many years.

It's not … You're gonna hear it and you're gonna go, "Yeah, okay. I've

never really thought about that, but I guess it's obvious," and it's this When

you begin to change and really live in your potential, you are going to be

starting to give that gift to the people around you that you care about the most

and surprisingly to a wider audience.

Okay, pay attention.

This is what I mean.

I used to think for many years that the, the journey of personal development

was about optimizing what you've been given so that you can fully live

your potential and have a rich, full, meaningful life serving and blessing

people, and all of that is true.

But one of the great ancillary benefits of this whole journey that

we're taking together is that as you do it, you are going to impact

profoundly the people around you.

Look, I'm gonna take a risk here.

I, I don't wanna be that guy, but, you know, I'm a Lord of the Rings fan.

We all are.

Come on, you-- I, I, every time I fly to Dallas, I watch the whole thing

again 'cause it's 14 and a half hours.

But there's that famous scene, uh, uh, I'm not gonna bore you with the

details, but you know, King Théoden from Rohan has been under this curse.

If you haven't seen the film or read the book, I don't know how we're friends.

But anyway, you're listening, so I'll just continue.

So here's this king who's been put under this spell and he, you know, he used to

be a great king and he's a king over this really noble people, but he's been kinda

trapped under this spell and he's been living this-- He's been asleep, which is,

often we talk about that on the podcast, and if you follow me on Instagram and

YouTube, you see that every reel and Short every day finishes with the words what?

Don't go back to sleep.

Because that's the great risk for most people in this culture at the moment,

they just keep sleeping through.

But King Théoden has been under this curse.

He's been sleeping.

He's been in this, this catatonic state where all of who he is and

his regal nature and his strength and his leadership has been

suppressed under this demonic spell.

And of course, you know, the W- the wizard Gandalf frees him from it.

There's this powerful scene in the book and in the film where he suddenly wakes up

and suddenly begins to remember who he is, and he comes alive and he comes back into

his destiny and back into his purpose.

And as he comes alive, he wakes up his people and he leads

again, and it's just great.

So go see it.

But it's a powerful metaphor that as you come awake, you begin to really

lead and impact the people around you.

I get the great blessing of doing that with my kids.

Like just, I'm so proud of them.

Like they're entrepreneurs, they're doing amazing things.

I couldn't be more proud of them.

So as I've really started to live and tried to have integrity and, and live

the message that I share here every day, it's fascinating how it affects

the people around you And you don't get to choose your immediate family,

I get that, but you will start to-- One of two things is gonna happen.

As you start to really s- wake up and live in your potential, and make some

choices, and set your goals, and start to do the difficult things, and push

yourself a little bit, you're gonna get people are gonna be like, "Wow," and

they're gonna start doing stuff too.

You'll just-- It's really funny to watch, like dominoes, like knocking

over those whole rows of dominoes.

You start, and it's just like a domino thing just happens, and people are like,

"Yeah, I might, uh, I might go to the gym too, actually. You know, and it was,

I've seen you on the Gram, I've seen you going to the gym. Maybe I'll start going

to the gym too." And it's that kind of thing, and it's the coolest thing ever.

As you come alive, you will give other people encouragement

and light to do the same.

So do you wanna spend another day of your life asleep?

What do I mean asleep?

I mean doom scrolling.

I mean overeating and having low energy and, and sitting on your phone till 2:00

AM and falling asleep, and you think you slept but you didn't 'cause your

brainwaves were messed up from screens.

A- and you just got low energy, and you're eating badly, and you don't

exercise, and you don't know why you're on the planet, and you're not

sure what your purpose is That's not gonna inspire many people around you.

And wouldn't that be a great way to live, to get to the end of your life

and so many people are like, "Wow, this person had such an impact on me.

They just ch- they impacted me so much"?

There, you know, sometimes there's messages in podcasts like, and I've done

this myself, and I think it's true, I've said, you know, "Stop stressing about

what people think about you, 'cause most of the time people aren't thinking about

you." But people are watching you, and if you live in a particular way and, and,

and optimize, it just, it's infectious.

We are a social species.

Does it not occur to you that if we're living in communities, and families, and

friendship groups, and work colleagues, that if we start to live in a passionate,

alive way, that's not gonna affect others?

And if people don't like it, friends, you can't choose your family,

but you can choose your friends.

If people don't like the transformational change in your life, find better friends.

Go find them.

You'll be surprised how easily they will show up if you really step into

your power and you really step into the life that you're meant to be living.

So, do not try to change people around you.

Uh, g- have good communication, have good boundaries, and say what

needs to be said, and listen to feedback, and change and grow.

But the whole idea of changing, I'm, I'm just in the game now of just, like,

I don't really wanna change anyone.

Changing people is, like, really hard.

If people, people gotta wanna change.

It's one of the most profound things about the coaching work that I get to do.

It's like, people think, "Oh, I'm gonna get Jonathan, he's gonna be coach, you

know, he coaches executives, he does all this stuff, he's gonna be a great coach."

And I'm like, my job is basically to turn up, help you listen to

yourself, and then just help you build an architecture to execute.

Like, I know it, people, it's, it's, like, people think it's really fancy,

but it's that X Factor skill of going, I'm gonna listen to you deeply, I'm

gonna help you articulate what actually really matters to you, then we'll

identify why you're not doing it, all the systems that are holding you back.

Then we'll build a framework, and you'll execute, and then you'll

start to come alive, and it will just impact people around you.

And you don't have to try and force change on anyone Like I encourage my kids, I've

challenging conversations with them, but they're basically, I think they look

at me and they go, "Dad's just nuts."

Like, he's just like they've just grown up with it.

They're just like, "Where's Dad?" It's like 4:00 AM, he's running in the snow.

It's 'cause what he does.

"Where's Dad?" "He's in the gym." "Again?" "Yeah, that's what he

does." Or, "Yeah, where's Dad?" "He reads." Like I read two hours a day

00 to 6:00 in the morning.

Like I just have these structures and disciplines, and I don't need my family to

do those things, but I just need them to see someone who's not going back to sleep.

Like that's what I want them to see, and that's what I want

your friends and family to see.

So come on, stop holding back.

Stop living anything less than your potential.

Change things.

Do it.

Start s- start stopping.

Start stopping those things that are holding you back.

You're accountable for this life.

Take responsibility for it, because there's just so much beauty and

energy and passion and change and transformation that can happen when

you start to become who you truly are.

Like you ever been inspired by somebody?

You ever met somebody, you're like, "Wow, they're really inspiring"?

'Cause they're alive.

They're living the gifts they've been given, and you should accept nothing less.

So summary of this message: as you wake up, as you press into this journey

of personal transformational change in your life, your business, your

finances, your health, you set your goals, you do the difficult things,

you make changes, you are gonna give other people around you to do permission

to do the same thing, and it's just the best and you're gonna love it.

All right.

Come follow me, Instagram, jdoylespeaks, YouTube, jdoylespeaks.

Reels and shorts every single day.

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we're gonna talk again tomorrow