Nobody Is Coming to Save You — And Why That’s the Most Freeing Thing You’ll Hear

You've been waiting for a rescue that is never coming, and some

part of you already knows it.

This message is so powerful and something that's a big part of my life.

I have this downstairs office in my house, and I have my coffee

machine, everything set up there, and I come down every single day.

I have this big fridge there, and there is this big poster that I bought.

I think I bought it off Etsy, and it's like this big poster.

Literally says, "No one is coming to save you." And Karen, my

wife, she used to not like that.

She was like, "But Jonathan, you're a Christian. Like, you know, Jesus is coming

to save us." See, I understand that.

Like, I understand that at the metaphysical, spiritual, you

know, l- existential level.

But I said, what I'm trying to teach myself is that I need to break this

lie, that the right mentor, the right moment, the right person is going to

suddenly arrive to change my life.

I don't know if you've done this, but I spent many years believing that a

therapist or a book or a particular person or wiser, older figure would

somehow be able to speak directly into the meta problems that I was having

and suddenly say a combination of words that was gonna radically change my life.

And I wanna save you so much time.

I keep using that phrase, saving people time.

So much of the work I'm doing now, coaching people and just producing this

content, is that I'm so blessed that I've got to an age where I've made so

many mistakes and I've gone down so many wrong turns, like all of us, that I have

things to offer and I wanna save you time, and that's the essence of this message,

that nobody is coming to save you If you really want your life to change, then

in a sense it's that old saying, "You are the hero you have been waiting for."

Now, again, I know that I've got a lot of listeners with deep spiritual

perspectives that'll be like, "Well, isn't this just kind of a radical

humanism that you just save yourself?" Look, I believe that, uh, who was it?

St. Augustine said in the fourth century, it's one of the most powerful

lines I've ever heard, and I share it so frequently, is that he said, "He who

made you without your cooperation will not save you without your cooperation.

He who made you without your cooperation will not save you without your

cooperation." So this is the thing, right?

It's like, uh, we don't get a vote if we come into existence.

None of us listening to this, me here in the studio, none of us… It's not

like, you know, before we were born somewhere in the cosmic realm, God

said to us, "Hey, I'm thinking of, uh, you know, uh, creating you into

existence and sending you into the world.

What do you think about that?" We never got that choice.

We've come into being by the gracious gift of God.

Here we are in the world.

So we didn't get that choice.

And sometimes I've had this discussion with people.

Sometimes when life's really hard, it's like, "Man, I didn't

even ask to be here, and I've got this really difficult situation.

I didn't even get a vote." So yeah, we don't get that vote, but there is a vote

we do get, and that's, you know, what that second part of that Augustine quote.

You know, He will not save you without your cooperation, which means we have

a choice in life whether we want to cooperate with this great, beautiful

possibility that is our lives.

We can resist it, we can fight it, we can medicate it, we can drug it, we can put

ourselves back to sleep, or we can wake up and do things and choose things in

partnership with what's really happening.

I keep thinking, you know, I say to people, I have a diverse range

of listeners, and I think I- I've sort of boiling it down to this

single principle, that there are two spirits moving through the universe.

One of these spirits wants you to grow, love, laugh, experience.

Yes, there'll be suffering, but it wants more for you.

That spirit wants you to take all of your potential and bring it out into the world

and serve people and, and feel meaning and mission and passion and vision.

And there's another spirit that wants you back to sleep.

It wants you in a sea of mediocrity.

So really what you have to do is choose which spirit you wanna

participate with, and that's what I mean by no one's coming to save you.

No one's gonna come and do this for you.

You know, if, if you want to get better, there are books and systems and people

and voices like mine that want you to win.

But you have to realize that unless you participate, unless you do

some different things, no one is suddenly coming to fix your life.

Even in the most radical sense, you know, when people say hit rock bottom, right?

You look at something like the Alcoholics Anonymous program.

Even if you hit rock bottom and have an intervention and, you know, a whole

bunch of people come around to your house and they say, "Listen, your life's

out of control, and we're here to do an intervention and, uh, sort you out."

Even then, even if the person sits there and listens to it all and it, and it, and

it helps them and they realize that it's all true, once those people leave, that

person still has to make choices, right?

They have to decide if they wanna participate in their own recovery.

They have to decide if they wanna step up into the life that's

possible for them or whether they wanna stay exactly where they are.

What you need to be aware of is what we call the rescue fantasy in disguise.

The rescue fantasy in disguise.

It's this idea that you have to wait.

You have to wait for motivation or permission or for the right time.

You ever done that?

You're like, "Well, I would change and I would start this diet and I

would get fitter and I would go to this gym and I would do this study

and I would ask this person out just when the right time comes."

And it kinda feels like hope.

You're kind of like a, a siren song that you sing to yourself to

gently put yourself back to sleep.

When the right time comes.

When the right time comes, I will step up and do the things that I really

need to do, and it feels like hope, but I'm trying to help you understand

it's not hope, it's abdication.

It's not hope, it's abdication.

And one of the things it does, it keeps you innocent, right?

Because in your head you're like, "You know, pretty soon I'm gonna do

this. You know, when, when, uh, when, when these people around me change,

I'm gonna really step up and do these things that I know I could really do."

And you're having this interior dialogue and it feels like hope, right?

Like someday it's gonna be different.

Someday the, the circumstance is gonna change and everything's gonna be

different and then it'll be your time.

It's not.

It's abdication.

And it allows us to stay innocent because in our heads we think we're having a real

conversation with ourselves, but we're just putting ourselves back to sleep.

So what do we do?

Try this, that the rescue that you're actually waiting for is the decision

that you keep refusing to make.

The rescue that you're waiting for, the change, the different life,

the thing that needs to shift, the thing that you're waiting for is

wrapped up and hidden inside the decisions that you are not making

How-- does that help you to actually go?

'Cause if you think about it carefully, there's got to be some decision

that you know you need to make that you are not making, and if you did

make it, it would move you forward.

Man, so many people just literally don't make them.

I'm with my-- teaching my kids, I'm teaching so many people.

Make them, make them.

Make decisions.

Get the information, deliberate, then act.

Ma- get the information, do your research, get the data, deliberate carefully,

seek wisdom, and then execute and act.

All right?

The rescue that you've been waiting for is hidden in the

decision you keep refusing to make.

Last couple of points.

I want you to understand that no one is coming to your rescue

shouldn't lead you to despair.

Why?

Because imagine like, you know, imagine an old war movie and, you know, and they're,

they're trapped in some little village and the overwhelming enemy forces are

there and they're holding out because they think a rescue's coming and they suddenly

realize that before whatever reason, the enemy, the rescue isn't coming.

Now they've got a choice at that point to surrender or to accept their circumstance

and fight like everything depends on it.

So no one is coming to your rescue should not lead you to despair.

It should lead you to a sober awakening to reality.

And it's one of the most freeing things that you're ever gonna hear.

It's one of the most freeing things that you are ever going to hear.

So for those of you listening to me now, I want you to get this.

No one's coming to the rescue.

No one is coming to the rescue.

You are the hero that you have been waiting for.

All right, I wanna wrap up in a sec. Before I do this, make

sure you come and follow me on Instagram, JDoyleSpeaks, one word.

Everything else is on the website, jonathandoyle.co.

You can find me on YouTube.

Please make sure you subscribe to this, but let's wrap this up.

I want you to understand one final point.

When we talk about this challenging concept that no one's coming

to the rescue, are you ready?

I want you to take this with you for the rest of the day, the night,

where- whatever time of day it is, wherever you are, listen to this.

The cavalry isn't coming.

You are the cavalry